sometimes families are messy

and sometimes they are a lot of work. but worth it always. for me at least.

my family has always been in a mess of sorts. I have a mom. a step-dad who I consider my Dad. (he walked me down the aisle for my wedding) a biological dad whom I call Jim. Because that’s his name. Jim’s girlfriend, Teresa, who has been with him for years and years. a sister. a husband. a mother in law. a father in law. a brother in law. two nephews. a niece. and plenty of cousins, aunts, and uncles.

it isn’t always easy to keep my marriage and sanity separate from my family and in-law family’s craziness while maintaining healthy relationships with them.

I’m also in the transitional stage going from under my parents wing, making sure the decisions I made were what they would choose for me – to now, husband and I making decisions as our own new little family and although I still care to make decisions that would hopefully make my parents proud, I cannot live my life, scared to take chances and have experiences that they might not choose if it was their decision.

ie: when husband and I should/if we should have children.

my mother will tell you honestly that if she had known what she knows now about having children, she would have never had them. and although that sounds harsh, I laugh. she was blessed with two daughters who never got in trouble. never did drugs. never drank. never went crazy. never ran around with the “wrong crowd.” always made better than average grades. both went to college. I have a master’s degree. my sister is graduating in May with her bachelors and is already applied for her MBA. we both work full time. support our selves. are responsible… she had it easy!

so although I love my mom with all of my heart, I cannot deny my longing of wanting to be a mother to at least two children. hopefully more.

another issue that isn’t up for discussion is husband and I’s decision to adopt. we haven’t shared this information with our families. and probably won’t until the decision is closer on the radar. we hope to have at least one biological child of our own and then adopt. but if adoption is our only option, we will love those children will all of our hearts and souls. we cannot wait to be parents.

but my mind makes me vey anxious to bring children in to this world full of crazy, messy families.

but so is life.

and husband and I are best of friends and partners in life and we cannot wait to make decisions and live our life exactly how we choose. not what they choose. and to not let their crazy effect us!

 

have you ever had issues with a messy family and/or dealing with branching out on your own in adulthood? how did you deal?